LOVE ME OR HATE ME

Friday, February 03, 2006

i just felt too stress up that i wrote this to my LO in school.. i also talk to my supervisor about it.. i felt so fcuking stress.. :(

Dear Sir,

Recently I got one major problem. I cannot do work under pressure and the client has been on my heels and I can’t do the report as what he want. I really cannot do. This cause myself to get stress and I just would want to break free from this. It is not healthy from my side. I really do not know who to face. Hais, I am scared if I cannot deliver the thing he wants I would get penalized on my IAP. It is overdue last week but I really cannot do it. My mind can’t think because I get the pressure from him. Hais. I am telling you this as the client has been coming up and keeps asking for me and even when I meet him on the company bus he keep asking me. I cannot work under pressure and when I am pressure I cannot deliver well. It is not his fault because it is his job to check the progress on the system but I really cannot understand the coding. I am lost. I never felt this way. I am beginning to hate my work place. It has been a dreadful thing to come to work and looking forward for it to end. I do not show it out because I do not want them think I am a failure but the problem is I cannot do it. The client wants to see you. I scared if I am going to fail my IAP. Hais. I am scared I will breakdown in front on them. They have high hopes that I will be able to finish it but I do not think I can. I don’t show my feelings to people and I cannot stand it and this is my last resort to go to you because I really can’t withstand it. Hais. I don’t want to fail my IAP and I’m scared I will fail. Because of this I took mc and have been missing from work. I just want to run away and do not want to see the client. Tell me. What am I suppose to do? I got no one to turn to here. Hais. I’m scared if I unable to finish the task I will fail my IAP. They told me they took me just to enhance that program. It means I have to finish it up but the problem is now I cannot move on. I write this to you not to gain sympathy but I really got no one to turn to and it is killing me. I really hope you can come down today because the client wanted to see you and I want to talk to you. Hais. I do not know if I am thinking too much but the fact is the client has been hot on my heels and I really cannot withstand the pressure. I really really hope to hear from you soon.

Regards,
Sharil L